In mid-February I was sitting in the cafeteria at my kids’ school during a parent prayer event. All of a sudden I started noticing a smell that I’ve only ever noticed when…. I was pregnant.
I kind of laughed it off as my period wasn’t even late. But. It made me nervous. I went home and found a pregnancy strip that had expired in 2018 and it almost immediately showed… Two Bright Pink Lines.
I literally hyperventilated.
At 40, I had NO plans for any more children. I love my four boys and really love that as they get older they are more and more fun. In fact, I didn’t even think it was possible to have more children.
After my initial physical shock wore off, I went downstairs and burned off all my nervous energy with a hard workout. I was in total disbelief. A BABY at 41????
That evening, my husband and I had an event to attend right after work. I had no real chance to talk to him about it and had no idea what to say. I was feeling so many emotions- fear, anger, anticipation, overwhelm, excitement and most of all uncertainty.
Afterward, we went to dinner as planned. One thing is for sure, Wiggy and I don’t do small talk. I think he could tell I was acting weird. All of a sudden, I basically threw my phone across the table with a picture of the positive test. “I don’t even know what to say” were the only words I could muster. “What is this? No way!,” he exclaimed. Blank stare from me.
I let my emotions out at that point sharing all the many things I felt. He was in shock as was I. We prayed- a lot.
I waited five more days before I told anyone else. That’s not like me. I have several close friends that I share all the things with openly. Every person’s shock was similar to my own so I had to brace myself to feel it again.
A few more weeks went by. As things settled in, we became more comfortable with this brand new reality. Not so secretly, I was pining for a girl. Surely, if God had another child planned for us it would be a girl right?
Did you know that you can find out the gender of a baby at 6 weeks now??? What in the world?
I couldn’t help myself. I bought the test. Facebook ads know everything right?
The first one I totally messed up. The 2nd, I had a wonderful helper so it was much simpler, but I had to wait an entire week to get the new kit.
We received the results on Sunday morning just after church. I knew they were coming and checked my email while sitting in my husband’s truck. My biggest craving during my first trimester was Jason’s Deli salad bar, so once he parked in the parking lot, I opened the results and…..
I squealed and then cried and then squealed and cried some more. So did Wiggy, so did the boys. We were all elated.
My oldest cried when we told them I was pregnant and was teary again when he found out he was having a sister. Like his mama, he cried more when overwhelmed with emotion than when upset or sad. It was a joyous moment and a joyous lunch.
So much more to share in the coming weeks, but so far in this journey, here’s what I’m continually reminded.
- God’s perfect plans are so much better than our own. He is trustworthy always.
- I know He will carry me through the days and weeks and years to come even as an “old” mom.
- My mom friends that had babies at 40+ are thriving. I have to stay healthy and young!
- Pregnancy is fascinating. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t marvel at the gift of life and the amazing manner that we are literally knitted together in the womb by our perfect creator and savior.
- I have learned SO much during the 11 years since my first pregnancy. I’m beyond low key and kind of laugh at all the “rules” of pregnancy, birth, and infancy. God willing, this baby will be birthed at home 🙂
- The first trimester is awful. Being my 4th first trimester (I lost a baby at 13 weeks- more on that HERE), I was better prepared and so was my husband. I got a prescription for Zofran immediately, started taking a high quality fiber supplement, my husband took over the smelly cooking and much more, and I gave myself so much grace as the nausea, brain fog, need to rest and sleep and complete out of body experience ensued.
Here’s to Saunders #7 and the first Momsanity girl!!!!
