Welcome to 2022 Momsanity! Coach Debbie and I are so grateful for the amazing women that we get to “do life” with virtually and in our every day lives, women like you! As we move into a new year, there is always significant societal pressure to reinvent ourselves into something “better”, but the truth is that resolutions fail almost all the time.
Studies show that only 8% of Americans who make a New Year's resolution actually keep them all year and 80% have failed by the start of February.
Why? Probably because we don’t choose goals and changes that are realistic for our lives, schedules, interests, and capacity, but instead we will ourselves to become something that we’re just not. We create “wishes” rather than attainable goals and then feel defeated when they don’t come true.
Parenting is not necessarily an area that receives attention around the new year’s resolution crowd, but it’s such an important area to consider any time of the year.
Rather than focusing specifically on motherhood, let’s dive into the bigger picture of our immediate families. Do you ever sit back and take a pulse on your marriage and your kids?
It can be a good thing to get in the habit of doing.
How is everyone really doing? Where have we lost focus on the things that matter to us? Where have we lacked consistency? What character traits do I want to focus on building in my kids during this season? Does my husband feel respected and appreciated? Where do we need to be spending more (or less) time to focus best on our family values? How can we best spend intentional family time together in this season? What areas are overwhelming you as a mom and can more responsibility be given to the kids? Are we consistently attending church and reading the Bible together as a family?
Ok, I know just thinking through these few questions has probably made you begin to feel overwhelmed and that’s not my intention. The truth is ALL of our families are imperfect, all kids are difficult, and no marriage is perfect. Our culture is demanding and busy and life is hard! However, as we move into this time of year where fresh starts are the norm, let’s consider these questions and then break it down into one or two specific and impactful areas where we can focus our time and efforts.
A few examples:
1. My husband and I will go on a date every 4th Friday of the month (start planning childcare now).
2. Sunday evening is declared family night. We will play interactive games that create a healthy dose of laughter and competition to keep things fun.
3. Time to limit the technology. No cell phones at the dinner table or after 9 pm.
4. The character trait for January is patience. Each day we will discuss patience and how we successfully practiced it or share our learning opportunities.
5. Both Mom and Dad are going to enjoy 3 hours of alone time once per month (put it on the calendar).
6. One Saturday per month we are going to serve together as a family at our favorite ministry.
7. Create a new dinner clean up routine. Mom no longer does all the work. Kids as young as 2 can help clean up the dinner dishes, throw away paper napkins and even learn to put rinsed plates in the dishwasher.
8. Commit Sunday mornings to going to church together as a family. If that’s already in place, then walk through an age-appropriate Bible study together. I recommend the kids and family resources from Not Consumed by Kim Sorgis.
Does that give you a bit of relief? Start super small and pick just one thing that the family can work on together. You’ll be setting a great example for your kids in how to establish positive changes and habits and once one small new step is well established you can pick another. If you still feel overwhelmed when considering your list, then break it down even further into a tiny step that makes you feel motivated but not stressed. And above all else, remember that God is the redeemer of our families in things big and small. Pray about it and ask Him for both help and guidance in raising your children His way.
May the beginning of 2022 be a blessing to you and your family!